Thursday, June 19, 2014

White Knight....Dark Nights


     I have a white knight in shining armor who is never more than a few feet away from me.  His name is Carrier.  I know this because he proudly displays his name on a little blue badge located on his lower left body.  He is about two feet wide and about a foot tall.  My life here in Cairo without Carrier would be a veritable hell.  He protects me from the evil Red Dragon.   He senses when the Red Dragon has begun to mount an attack on me and my family.  His green digital eyes click and beep to life when the Dragon begins to draw near.  My Carrier comes to life with a gush of delicious cold wonderfulness that forces the Red Dragon to retreat, keeping him at bay.

“Carrier” is the air conditioning unit that is mounted on the wall of the room where I spend the majority of my time.  

I thought that description was a lot more fun than “I have an air conditioner”.    It was….right?  

     The Red Dragon is, of course, the crushing heat that threatens to drown me whenever I am brave enough to leave the cool confines of my room.  I came to Cairo armed with a ton of movies to watch on my computer and an armload of books.  I KNEW I would be spending an enormous amount of time in the bedroom where my beloved Carrier resides.

      I know I have mentioned this once before, but I will mention it again for sake of my brain’s inability to think of a better example.  There is movie called “Biloxi Blues” that came out in the 80’s that stars Matthew Broderick.  He plays a young writer named Eugene Morris Jerome who has been drafted in to the Army during World War II.  As he steps off the train in Biloxi, Mississippi to begin his basic training, he is overcome by the heat of the Deep South.  He struggles to describe it and finally comes up with “Man it's hot. It's like AFRICA hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot.” When I first heard that line, I laughed.  I never in a million years thought I would one day, quite literally, understand what that line meant. 

Good GOD it is hot here.

      It’s NOT like the heat back home.  It’s indescribable to anyone who has never experienced heat like this.  I have not spent a lot of time in any of the southern states of the U.S., but I know heat like this does exist there.  I looked like I had taken a shower a mere 15 minutes after I stepped off the plane at the Cairo airport on June 11th.  The sweat was pouring off of me.  I of course had spent a small amount of time preening and trying to erase the 24 hours it had taken us to make the journey from Albuquerque to Cairo.  Unfortunately the dark circles and greasy hair caused by hours and hours in a packed aircraft fuselage told the real story.  I was liberal with the concealer and managed to dab on a bit of mascara as well.   As presentable as I appeared when we stepped off the bus and in to the terminal, all my cosmetic efforts slowly began to melt off my face as that famous Egyptian heat began to have its way with me. I impatiently glared at the customs man and willed him to work faster as he read paperwork, made his inquiries, and stamped the passports of those who managed to get off the plane faster than I could.  Slowly but surely we made our way to the front of the line, the whole time drops of sweat tracing their way down my face taking my makeup with it.  Sigh.  When we finished going through customs a very enthusiastic man had marked me as an American….ah…..a chance to make some REAL money.  I knew what he was up to and allowed him to hurry me along to the rotating belt in the baggage claim area.  I then allowed him to pull all five of our overly packed humongous bags off the belt and load them on to a single cart.  He then said “Please, I need twenty dollars now”.  I think I laughed out loud and then said “Wallah la zeem?  Ai-ape”…which basically translates in to “You swear to God? You are really asking me for that? That is SO wrong.”  A look of surprise registered on his face and then he slowly put his hands up and turned and walked away.  I could just hear him thinking “Damn!  Stupid American woman is on to me”.  I would have tipped him something, but he scurried away in shame before I had a chance to do so.

Twenty bucks my FOOT.

      My point in all this is that I ended up pushing the overly loaded cart through the terminal myself which did absolutely nothing for the whole sweat situation.  I was now drenched.

     We finally reunited with Hany who mercifully took over the cart and lead us out to his car where he promptly loaded us up and jacked up the air conditioner.  Ah sweet bliss!  My hair had managed to dry out some by the time we made the half hour trip to his mom’s apartment.  We said our hellos, dragged our bags in to the room and I immediately greeted my little white savior and switched him on.

     Almost immediately another Cairo truth reared its ugly head.  I became aware that my little white knight in shining armor had an even more sinister enemy that rendered him useless and allowed the Red Dragon to attack!  What was this evil force you ask?   The power outage.  Flippin power outages.  ACK!!

     “You must be kidding me”.  I think that’s what I said.

      Only a short while after we arrived from the airport, the power went out and stayed out for over an hour.  I had forgotten about the power outages. Hany giggled and said “Welcome back to Egypt baby!”  Not funny.  The strain of air conditioners on the power grid is overwhelming here, so in order to ease that strain and prevent a greater (perhaps catastrophic) outage, they must have rolling blackouts.  We have been here for six days now and we have experienced no less than 10 outages.  They last anywhere from a half hour to two hours or more.  They often occur during the heat of day when the air conditioners are in full swing and not a breath of a breeze is to be had.  Sheer, unadulterated HELL.  The temperature in the room becomes uncomfortable within minutes.  The shutters fly open and folks make their way to their balconies with their makeshift fans and glasses of ice water to sit out the outage and wait for their power to return.  I actually prefer the night time outages as at least the air is a bit cooler.  You can’t see a damn thing inside the apartment, but the street down below remains busy. Most homes now have a battery operated lighting strips that switch on when the power goes out.  Most are equipped with obnoxiously bright LED lights that will blind you if you look directly at it. I shouldn’t complain, at least we can make our way around.  I actually washed the dishes by the light of one of these small LED lights the other night.  Interesting experience!    In most cases the other side of the street is still lit as the outages usually occur on just one block at a time.  After what seems like an eternity, the power pops back on and you can audibly hear the cheers in the nearby apartments. Back to business as usual.  It seems to me that the strain on the power grid is INCREASED when they shut off the power as now every A/C and fan is immediately switched on to try and bring down the sweltering temperature.  There is no rhyme or reason for when an outage will occur.  There might be one in a single day, or maybe two.  You may go several days without a single outage. (We have had at least one a day since I have been here.)

     The power outages will be a daily inconvenience for me, but I will survive.  I will have to further arm myself with powders and creams in order to keep the sweat at bay and the heat rashes that are sure to follow if I am not diligent!  At least they are saving money on heating water as I have yet had to use a single drop of warm water while showering.  No point really as the water comes out of the shower head cold, soaks through my hair and actually runs down my back completely warmed by the heat trapped on my head!  Ahhhh……ya gotta love the experiences you have when you travel to the other side of the world.  It can be difficult, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.  Roll with the punches baby.

Goodnight my sweet Carrier.  I shall now switch you off for a few minutes as I am actually feeling chilled.  No worries, ten minutes tops and I will once again be in need of your services. 

Yes, I am a drama queen.

Looking forward to the next adventure.  Inshallah.

No comments:

Post a Comment